Coming Home XXXXX Coming At Home XXXXX Difference?
by vampireluver17
Summary: Post season finale. A year later, Justin returns to the 'Burg. I tried my hardest to keep the characters as tightly bound to their origins as possible. Sorry: ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Babylon: the thumpa-thumpa continues, glitter falls from on high, and Brian Kinney dances on top of the world with some little twink. The way things should be. As I watch him, all the memories, both good and bad, come flooding into my conscious. Mostly the good ones though: my days as one of his twinks, our (and my) first time, our make up session in his office when he lovingly took me back after the biggest mistake of my life, and of course our last time together. It's been almost a year since I've seen him.

Like the good little boy I am, I went to New York. It's what I thought I wanted at the time. But I worked and worked, and just like Hollywood, their promises didn't pan out. Sure, every critic and gallery owner said I was a great artist, and that my work was good enough to put on a show and sell. I'd been allowed to put a few pieces in shows as an accessory artist and most of my pieces had sold, which made me plenty of money. However, no one was willing to put enough faith in me to give me a sink or swim chance. Which, ironically, left me only to sink as an option, and that's wasn't good enough for me. I left.

And once again, now, I leave, playing with the small silver ring on my right hand for the duration of the walk home. Knowing Brian Kinney the way that I do, I'm sure he's noticed by now that one of the rings is missing and where it is. He just doesn't know that it's this close to him right now, and I'm not sure I'm ready to let him in on the secret.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"So did you tell him? Are you back together? Is the wedding back on?" My best friend Daphne opens the door and bombards me with questions before I even get the key completely into the lock.

"No, no, and no," I answer, "I'm a little tired. I think I'll just go up to bed."

"Oh, no you don't. You don't get to just show up on my doorstep after calling off your wedding to leave for New York, tell me that you are moving back to Pittsburgh permanently, and then not go and tell Brian Kinney the same thing! I know that he's the only reason you came back. You're in love with him. You told me after only one night with him, and I know it still rings true today."

"You're right. It does. I'm still in love with him. I always have been, and I always will be. That's one thing that distance doesn't change."

"So why are you back here tonight? Why aren't you at Brian's? Why aren't you two having hot, passionate makeup sex right now instead of you and me being here arguing?"

"I don't know. I went to Babylon. I saw him dancing with some guy, which is of course cool, but I just remembered what he said to me. 'I don't want to

live with someone who sacrificed his life, and called it love, to be with me.' I don't think he'll see my return as romantic of a gesture as you do."

Daphne just stood there. I think she understands where I'm coming from. Brian and I were going in two different directions for the entire duration of our 'relationship.' Up until the very end, he didn't even believe in romantic love, or commitment, especially not marriage.

There was apparently no more for Daphne or I to say to the other on the matter. I went up to bed, knowing she'd be up later. I curled up on the floor at the foot of her bed and cried myself to sleep, one of my newly found habits since leaving Pittsburgh, the other being the night terrors that woke me in the middle of the night screaming.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next morning: I wake to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom on the other side of the bedroom wall. Realizing that I'd slept through the night with no night terrors, I am a little happier. Explaining those to Daph would probably be a little uncomfortable.

I follow my normal morning routine of showering and getting dressed. I walk downstairs to find that Daphne has already left for class. She left me a note on the kitchen counter.

Go see Brian. Tell him by tonight, or I'm gonna do it for you. And please pick up OJ if you go to the store. See ya later. --D

I know that if Brian were to here this from Daphne rather than me, he'd be pissed. No, more than pissed. He'd become his comic alter-ego RAGE, only instead of protecting Gayopolis, he's probably find and kick my ass. So Daph is leaving me no choice. That bitch.

Well, now it almost eleven. No place serves breakfast this late in the morning. Well, I know that's not true. I'm really craving some pancakes so I push past my fear and walk into the Liberty Diner. Of course, as soon as I walk in the door, Deb spots me.

"Sunshine!"

"Hey, Deb. How are things?"

"Fine, just fine. What are you doing here?"

"Well I really wanted breakfast. Can I get some pancakes, please? Oh, and some coffee?"

"You damn sure can not! What? Don't give me that face! You think I'm gonna just let you waltz in here after a year and order pancakes like it's been two days? Tell me what you're doing here, in Pittsburgh, when you're supposed to be off in New York becoming a famous artist!"

I am absolutely stunned. There is no other word for it. I expect everyone else to act like that. Not Deb. Deb loves me. She loves us all. She's supposed to be like my mom who just greets me with open arms and affections, not demanding questions that I don't know the answers to.

"Well, Justin, are you gonna tell me or are you just gonna sit there and stare at me with you trap hanging open?"

I shut my mouth, but I still can't speak. I'm not even sure I remember the question.

"Oh, my god! Does he know you're here?"

That sparks me out of my catatonia. "No, no he doesn't."

"Well, why the fuck not? Aren't you here to visit him?"

"Um, well kinda yes and kinda no."

"What the fuck kinda gibberish are you talking in? You're either here to see him or you're not. Which is it?"

"I guess if I had to choose one…I'm not. I'm not here just for a friendly visit with Brian."

She scoffed before adding, "Like the two of you were ever friends. Wait, what do you mean by just?"

"I mean that I'm back. For good."

"Why? What happened to New York?"

"I left."

"Yeah, well, I can see that. Why?"

"Things just didn't pan out. I got fed up with being jerked around by my dick," another scoff from Deb, "I decided to leave, and Pittsburgh is my home. Where else would I go?"

"Nowhere. It's good to see that thousand watt smile again. I'll go get you those pancakes, now."

"Thanks."

At this exact moment, the door opens. The person who walked through the threshold walks up next to me and begins to talk to Deb. She turns around with her normal smiling face and says, "Hey Ted. You're order will be up in a minute. Why don't you have some coffee while you wait?" She returns with two mugs full of the black bean water. One she places in front of Ted. The other she hands to me exclaiming, "There you go, Sunshine!"

Ted turns his glance toward me upon her last word. I can see the confusion in his eyes.

"Hey," he says almost nervously.

I return the sentiment with no additions. I was never really close with Ted, probably because Brian wasn't.

"What are you doing here?"

I reply with the same breakfast response that I had given to Deb, and of course got an equal reaction from Ted. Together, we repeat the entire verbal tango that Deb and I had just finished. Only this time, I am forced to add on, "Don't tell him I'm back yet. I'll do it later today."

Now, Ted's order is up. He pays for the meals; he was obviously picking up lunch for the office. Then he exits the diner, looking back once more in my direction.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The money I'd made off my sold paintings was more than enough for a flight back to Pittsburgh and my next plan. After that, though, if it doesn't pan out, I may need to ask Deb for my old job back.

I walk back to Daphne's, making sure to pick up some OJ from the market on the way. I take a few hours lying around the house, sketching random angles of each room, anything to take my mind off of what I plan to do this afternoon.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I heard the grandfather clock in the foyer chime, letting me know that it was finally after five o'clock. Time for businesses to let their employees off work for the evening, and that includes Kinnetik, Inc.

I make my way to the building which, at one point, was home to the Liberty Baths. I open the door, take in the familiar sights and smells, and walk the path I could never forget to the door of Brian's office.

I knock twice and receive as a response the ever courteous "Come in."

Upon my entrance, the beautiful man behind the desk raises his head and asks, "Can I help you with something?"

I stammer a little but eventually get out the words, "Yeah, I'm looking for Brian Kinney."

"Yeah, well, you and everyone else in this office. He left this morning without a single word to anyone but Cynthia. She says that he's gone to New York, something about a tailor. Guess his newest Armani suit just couldn't wait. Meanwhile, I'm back here in PA trying my hardest to keep the business from going under completely…"

I walk off in the middle of his venting.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A week later, after fretting over my decision to remain in Pittsburgh rather than chase after Brian, a choice which has caused me to wake up screaming the past four nights, I come downstairs to see Daphne slam down the receiver of the phone.

"What's going on?"

"God damn telemarketers!"

"Oh, any messages for me?"

"No, Justin. Brian has not called looking for you, wondering why you're not in New York like you're supposed to be. Why didn't you go after him? You know he went looking for you."

"No I don't. He is just going to get a suit adjusted-"

"You are so full of shit! Brian is still as much in love with you as you are with him, and you know it!"

"Yeah, well, if he is, it took him long enough to decide."

"You've got to be kidding me! You leave for New York, live and work there for a year, then, after they screwed you over, decide to come home to be with him. The next day he makes the same decision and you're mad at him? What the hell is wrong inside that pretty blond head of yours?"

"I'm not quite sure. I think I'm gonna head out and get something to eat. You want to come?"

"No I just ate a couple of hours ago. Call me when you start home, though, I may need you to pick me something up later."

"No problem." I head to the diner. I really should be sick and tired of the diner, but Deb and the others have a tendency to keep me grounded when my head goes in the eighty directions it lately seems to be attempting. When I walk in the door, I head straight to my normal booth. Ted, Emmett, Michael and Ben are already there enjoying a late lunch. They invite me to join them, so I do.

"Hey, Sunshine, how're you doing, and what are you doing here?"

I turn my head toward the ever-loving Emmett and answer, "My god. I'm fine, how else would I be doing? And if anyone within the next month or so asks me why I walk into this diner, I'm going to kill them. I'm hungry and I will eat in which ever diner, restaurant, or whatever that I please!"

"Okay, then, I just meant…um…aren't you wondering about Brian?"

"Not really. There's not really anything to wonder about. He went to New York. No big deal. Even if I were still living there, he just went to get a suit fixed. He's not there looking for me."

At this point Michael decides to put in his two cents, "What are you talking about a suit?"

"I went by Kinnetic last week. The guy there told me that he went to see a certain tailor about some new suit."

"Yeah, Justin, he went to see a , as in Justin TAYLOR. He IS there looking for you."

Well, of course, that statement got my attention.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Once again, three days later, I am at the Liberty Diner for lunch. Michael informed me yesterday that Brian is coming back to Pittsburgh today. I'm so excited. He apparently thinks that I've moved on with absolutely no word. Yeah right. So I plan to surprise him.

After lunch, I walk down to Babylon. I know that it won't be open at this hour, but I miss that place. The lights, the music, the slightly watered-down alcohol, and the men. The sexy sweaty men dancing, doing drugs, and hitting on me. Together, Brian and I had had all of them, but it was still fun to dance and to watch.

I'm not sure why but I attempt to open the door. To my surprise, it is unlocked. Very unlike Brian Kinney. When I see him this afternoon, I should let him know that his staff is slacking off. For now, though, I just walk inside. Without the strobes blinking, the music blaring, and the queers partying, the bare room is just that. Babylon is just a fantasy. It's one of those places that makes you believe that you are unstoppable, and that life only gets better from that point. I know that, now. I had to learn the hard way that life is only good one. For me, that time was when I was with Brian.

Speak of the devil, and the devil, he shall appear. At this exact moment, Brian, accompanied by another man, walks in from the back room. I freeze. By the time my mind and my muscles have caught up with my adrenaline and I begin to move back toward the door, I'm spotted.

"Hey, you! What are you doing in here?" I hear Brian yell from behind me as I sprint toward the exit. "Hey, stop!"

Muscle memory takes over. Too many habits of doing what I'm told, especially by Brian Kinney, cause me to hault right inside the door. I hear Brian catch up to me and then I feel his well muscled hand wrap around my upper arm and pull, spinning me around.

The moment that my eyes met his I started to ramble, "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to interrupt. I just haven't been to Babylon in so long. I thought that if I came during the day you'd be less likely to be here-"

"What are you doing here?" he interrupted.

"Um, do you really want me to repeat all that?"

"Well, no, not really. I see you still babble when you're nervous. Er...give me ten minutes to get rid of this buyer. Then, we'll talk. You stay here."

As much of a smooth talker that Brain is, it takes less than five minutes for the other gentleman to excuse himself and leave the premises. Then, Brian is right back in my face. I can smell his cigarettes and after shave. God, I've missed that scent. Before I know what's happening, my lips are on his and my tongue is forcing its way into his mouth.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"What the fuck are you doing?" Brian asks as he pushed me off of him.

"Well, I was trying to kiss you."

"Yeah, I caught on to that."

"Well, then, why did you-" then his lips are back on mine, our tongues battling out the emotions that we could not speak to one another. I place my hands on the back of his neck and pull him even closer in an attempt to deepen the kiss, but he has other actions in mind. He removes his mouth from mine but continues to kiss along my jaw and down my neck. The desire within me is building more than I thought possible. I want to feel him, to remove all barriers between our two skins. As if he can read my thoughts Brian's fingers are worming their way up my shirt. I lift my arms to allow him to remove my shirt, and action which, sadly, causes us to break our intimate hold for only a mere second, but it feels like a lifetime.

Soon, all of our clothes are on the bare floor. I'm holding the man that I love in my arms, and his figure is still as breathtaking to me as it was the first time I saw it. Both of our bodies are begging for the same thing, so I decide to do something about it. I push him to the floor and kiss my way down his chest, making sure to pay special attention to his nipples. I know how much he loves that. I hear him moan and know that my memory has served me well.

"Fuck!" I hear Brian exclaim.

"What?"

"I don't have a condom!"

I can't help but snicker. Brian Kinney without a condom on his person is like a traffic cop without his citation booklet. It's something one just doesn't fathom a possibility.

"That's alright," I say, making sure my point gets across by kissing the head of his erection, "I'm sure that there's some other way I can help you."

And with that I begin to suck on his cock. It takes only three minutes of deep-throating before I can feel his abdominal muscles clenching, signaling his upcoming release. I bask in it. I want to feel everything. When he finally comes, moaning louder than I remember ever hearing before, I'm content. At least I think I am, that is, until he returns the affection.

Then, just as suddenly as it begun, the sex is over. He coughs, I shuffle my feet, and the moment is gone. We both retrieve our clothes and get redressed. Then, I flee.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

PROS  
1. The sex is fantastic.  
2. I'm in love with him.  
3. At one point, he was in love with me.  
4. He may still want me.

CONS  
1. A year apart  
2. At ONE POINT, he loved me. Doesn't mean he still does.  
3. No one stays with the person they were dating at seventeen.  
4. He might be back to his old rules.

Well, that was clearly unhelpful - the pros and cons list apparently doesn't work for me. I really just need to talk to Brian, but every time I see him, I feel like Gus in a game of tag. Just hide until he goes away. Yes, I am aware that it's really immature, but my brain and my body are apparently working against one another...and oh my god, I'm talking to myself.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

It's cold outside. I can't feel my nose, but I continue to stand there anyway. I can't make myself leave. I can't seem to force my arm up to press the call button, either. Someone walks out of the building, though, and I walk in while the door's open. I take the old elevator up and step off on Brian's floor. I stand in front of the loft door, and once again, cannot force my hand to knock. I'm not lucky enough for him to just sense my presence and open the door, but after a few minutes, I manage in my task.

The door slides open to a naked Brian. Not exactly what I had been expecting, but I'm not surprised in the least.

"Justin, come on in," he says. I follow his request. I watch him as he walks to the bedroom and returns donning a pair of worn jeans.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you about the other day."

"Yeah, well, I figured you only came to talk. If you had been trying to seduce me, you would have dressed to fit the part." I look down and notice that I am looking a little rough, not at all fitting my normal profile of a 'princess.' My jeans have a small stain on the knee and, even worse, my belt and shoes don't match. Still, I refuse to worry about my appearance. Like Brian said, I didn't come here to get laid.

"I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"And why not? I quite enjoyed myself."

"At least I haven't completely lost my touch." I see his eyes drop at that instant, but the light is back half a second later.

"No, no that's for certain." Brian starts to slink toward me. "You've kept your TOUCH up very keenly." He brushes my hair off of my forehead. God, how does he make such a simple action so erotic? I feel my heart rate begin to pick up. Trying to keep my bearings, I push his hand away from me.

The moment my hand makes contact with his, he grabs my waist and pulls my arm straight. Then he begins to guide me around the room. We're dancing - the same dance we danced at my senior prom. Brian even includes that sexy dip and the kiss. My head is already spinning, but when his lips meet mine I go into overdrive. Every nerve ending on my body is responding to his touch.

I'm not sure why, but when he steps back to pull me toward the bedroom, I panic. I run from the loft and down the stairs.

"Justin, wait!" I hear him screaming from behind me. When I get outside the building, I run across the street before stopping. I hear Brian shout my name again and I turn to face him.

Then, almost as two separate occurrences, I see before hearing the car that hit him. Brian lands in the middle of the street, bleeding and unconscious.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Let me take this moment to set the scene. Seven other people plus myself, all of us imagining different scenarios in our heads while sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. Because none of us are Brian's blood relatives, the nurse refuses to release any information. No one speaks. All I am able to hear is the soap opera running on the television. Why do hospitals do that anyway? Every waiting room has a t.v. and everyone of them is running some form of soap opera. As if we don't have enough shit to deal with in reality!

"Excuse me, sir," I try again with the nurse behind the desk, "but how long do you think it will be before we hear back about him?"

"Him, who?" It wasn't said with unkindness.

"Oh, sorry. Brian Kinney, he was hit by a car on Liberty Avenue. Brought in by the paramedics."

"Give me a few minutes. I'll find out what I can for you."

"Thank you very much." Afterwards, I take my seat between Deb and Emmett.

Too much time passes and I still haven't heard back from that nurse. I walk outside and light up a cigarette. I had tried to quit in New York. I failed miserably. Plus, I believe I deserve one after the week I've had.

I hate to waste a cigarette, but only halfway through, I noticed the nurse come back to the waiting area and begin to speak with the group. I put out the wonderful nicotine stick and walked inside, still dreading what I was about to hear.

"...surgery...internal bleeding..." I catch a few phrases from the nurses initial explanation.

"Could you please repeat that for me?"

"As I was telling the rest of your family, Mr. Kinney was given a CT scan for possible head trauma. The doctors have told me that there is no cause for immediate alarm. Mr. Kinney was rushed into the O.R. for surgery to stop some internal bleeding. They were able to get the bleeding under control and he is in recovery now. Unfortunately, visiting hours are over, so I can't let you in to see him today. Please feel free to come back in the morning."

Having no other option, the eight of us exit the hospital. I catch a ride with Ted and Blake to Brian's loft. I just want to make sure that it's locked overnight. Of course it's not. The door is standing almost completely open. Luckily, nothing seems to be missing. I close and lock the door then walk back to Ted's car. He and Blake drop me off at Daphne's with promises to pick me up in the morning for a trip back to the hospital.

I notice that all the lights are off inside. Daphne's staying out all night again, tonight. She's been doing that a lot lately, I've noticed. Oh well, I go straight to bed, too tired to even take a shower or brush my teeth.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

I'm not sure how I got here, but I look around and notice that I'm in the back room of Babylon. Like always, it's filled with men, all of whom are fucking their brains out. I begin to feel uncomfortable and walk out to the dance floor. Brian is there. He spots me and walks over.

"Buy you a drink?"

"No. Thank you. I think I'm just gonna go home. I'm really tired for some reason."

"You can't leave. We just got here. Besides," he leans his head down until his lips are right on my ear, "we haven't chosen our target for the night." He raises his head and gives me his famous smirk. "Wanna do the honors?"

I scan the crowd, and point to a tall blond with his shirt off, then change my mind.

"What do you say we just go home alone?"

"Are you kidding? You wanna miss out on date night? Come on, pick your poison. I saw you eying that blond. Wanna fuck him?"

"No. I want to fuck you."

"We'll get to that at some point tonight...maybe. For now, just pick a twink."

I scan the dance floor again. My blond has already been swept out the door. My eyes land on a new guy. I'm sure we haven't had him before. He's gorgeous, with jet black hair and rock hard abs. He could possibly give Brian a run for his money. I take that back. Brian could definitely out maneuver him, but he's got to be worth one night. I point him out to Brian, and Brian takes his opportunity.

Brian walks up the man, and before I know it, he's walking out of the club with him. And without me. I follow him out of the club and back to the loft, where he shuts the door in my face. I open it to see them both naked and kissing.

"Hey! You're breaking the rules!"

"What are you talking about? The rules went out the door with the fiddler." I look up. The twink is no longer in the room. Instead, Daphne is making out with Brian. They both turn to me.

"Eww. It's one of those fags. What should we do with it?" Daphne asks.

"I've got one idea..." Brian responds with a metal baseball bat in his hand.

I wake up screaming! Another one of those horrible nightmares.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

I sense an hand coming down on me in the darkness. Adrenaline takes over and I grab it, tackling it's owner to the ground.

"Hey, do you mind? Get off me."

"Sorry Daph. I didn't realize it was you."

"Yeah? Well, that's the last time I'll try to calm YOU down in the middle of the night. What the hell was that, anyway?"

"Just a nightmare."

"Just a nightmare? A nightmare wakes you up. It doesn't make you wake up screaming bloody murder."

"Apparently they do...sometimes...whatever! I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, well, then, I'll see you in the morning."

I say nothing. I'm still a little freaked out. I haven't been having such strong terrors lately. Sure, I knew I would never get over Hobbs, but I haven't had a nightmare related to the bashing in years. I can't shake the feeling of strangeness. I can't sleep.

I go for a walk and end up at the hospital. I trek my way to the recovery ward by following the signs in the hallways. The nurses' station is unoccupied so I locate Brian's room on my own. He's sleeping inside, so I just plop down on the floor outside his door.

I'm not sure how log I sit there before another nurse walks up to me, once again, informing me that visiting hours are over and that they would resume again at seven. I can't force myself to leave. Hell, the other three nurses they'd sent over to me couldn't make me leave, either. So I just sat there.

Sometime around dawn I wake up peacefull. No nightmares or screaming. I both hear and feel this beautiful female voice coaxing me from my slumber. It takes me a moment to realize where the melody is coming from: the hospital's hallway speaker. I hadn't noticed mysic playing during the night, but now the song is calling to me. I close my eyes and just take a moment to listen to the lyrics.

When you open your heart There's always so much to lose So far to fall and no where to go when it's through but if you let me in I won't let you down Put your faith in me 'Cause whenever you crash Where ever you land That's where I'll be And for every endless midnight There's a sky full of broken stars And there will always be a place for you Inside my arms And there's a billion streets to walk down In this city of broken hearts But there will always be a place for you Inside my arms Where does it hurt?

The music is drowned out by the bustling of what appears to be the morning shift change and rounds. The last nurse who exits Brian's room signals that it's okay for me to go in, now. I stand, enter the room, and am greeted.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself."

"You look like shit!"

"Thanks. We'll sit you in a hospital hallway all night long and see how you look."

"I pulled it off quite strikingly, I think."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

I know better than to push Brian Kinney for information he's not willing to give, so I move on. "How are you feeling?"

"Like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman," he replies with that famous Kinney tongue-in-cheek smile, "How the fuck do you think I'm doing, you little shit? I just got hit by a car!"

"Pretty stupid question, I guess."

"Yeah."

A moment of silence passes between us; then another, and then another...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Well?" Brian says.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to tell me that you're sorry?" God damn that sexy tongue in cheek smile of his. He knows he can use it to get anything he wants from me.

"Um...I'm sorry. What exactly am I being sorry for?"

"For one, putting me in this very uncomfortable hospital bed. I'm sure you can come up with a way to make it a little more comfortable. Hint, hint."

"What are you talking about? You're the idiot who wasn't watching for traffic. Come on," I change my voice to the falsetto one I always used to make fun of him. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to look both ways before you cross the street?" He just chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before." Then, his voice takes a more serious, almost angry, tone, "But I was too busy trying to catch up to this pretty little blond twink who, once again, refused to stand up for himself and demand what he wants. God! I thought you'd grown out of that phase. I thought I'd taught you better than that!"

Astounded, I mutter, "What do you want me to say, Brian?"

"Nothing. Anything. What do you want to say?"

"And, once again, I'm not the only one who knows how to avoid answering a question by asking another. I asked you what you wanted me to say."

"I don't want you to say anything. I want you to WANT to say several things, but that's a whole other topic of conversation."

"I'll make a deal with you." He just looks at me, then motions his hand as if to say, 'Continue, please.' "I'll tell you everything I'm thinking if you do the same."

He takes a moment to ponder before replying, "You know I hate to open up emotionally if you're not in some kind of trauma."

"Yeah, I do, but that's my condition. Take it or I'm leaving, again."

"Fine, but you go first."

I take a few deep breaths before starting my soliloquy.

"I've been thinking. Yes, I know, always a dangerous, but I have. You once told me that you didn't want to live with someone who sacrificed his life and called it love in order to be with you. At the time, I understood. That'swhy I left. I went to New York. I had a few good times. I finally got a place on my own. I went to clubs, but none of them were quite the same as Babylon. Not a one had its own proverbial king, but I still went. I danced, I drank, and I tricked; a lot. I even met one guy whom I thought I could eventually love." I see his face drop just a bit, but in true Kinney style, it's back to normal so quickly, I think I may have imagined it. "We were together for months. He told me he loved me. He even wanted to move in together, but I refused. He knew enough about you to know why. I'd talked about you in passing, but he never knew the whole story. I was never ready to tell it because, to me, it felt like telling some new guy about us meant that we were truly finished. That we'd never be able to be together again, and I didn't want that to be my life. I DON'T want that to be my life. I want you to be my life. I want to come home."

"What about your conquering of the art world?"

"I took care of that in New York. Remember that rave review that forced you to force me out the door? I was right. The guy who wrote it was simply into me, not my art. As payback I tied him up, got him so close that he could barely breathe, and then I walked out the door! So, once again, you're still the only person who's never broken a promise to me."

"So now what?"

"Now, it's your turn. I want to know every thought that has passed through that sexy head of yours over the past year, especially those pertaining to me." I flash him a smile to make sure he comes through.

"You weren't privy to that information even when we were engaged. What makes you think I'd divulge it now?"

"The fact that you promised. And if there's one thing you don't do, it's break a promise to me."

"I never promised you that. I said that I would tell you what I am thinking. Not everything I've thought about since you left."

I saunter over to his bedside, lean down to his ear and whisper, "Are you sure there's nothing" my hand makes its way down to his crotch, "I can do to change your mind?" and on the last word, I give him a hearty squeeze. I feel him harden, almost instantaneously within my grasp. At the same time, his teeth pop together and his neck croons backwards.

"I'll talk if you don't."

"My lips are sealed."

"That's not necessarily what I had in mind," he says, guiding my head down to his slightly ignored member, which is now full erect and causing his gown to tent. I take the head of his cock into my mouth and swirl my tongue around it. I know how much he likes that; at least, he used to. If the groan I hear escape his lips is any indication, he still does. Then, taking it out of my mouth, I tend to other parts, specifically the inside of his thighs and the underside of his scrotum. His hands grab hold of hy hair. That's just not fair. He knows how much I like that. It turns me on just as much as getting his cock sucked turns him on. I let him have his jollies for about a minute before stopping.

"Finale hasn't come yet," he says, smiling at his own corny play on words.

"I know, but the deal was that you would talk. So for each thing you tell me, you'll get a little closer to your 'finale.'"

"Little twat. Can't you just blow me?"

"And what do I get out of it?"

"Has it really been that long. I'm sure it's essentially the same from one guy to the next."

"Eww. Gross. Do you have to be so...Kinney-esque right now?"

"Would you have it any other way?"

"No, but if you'd like me to continue to be JT-esque and suck your cock, you'd better start talking."

"Fine. I still haven't returned the wedding bands."

"That doesn't count. I already know that."

"How do you know?"

"Nevermind. Give me something else."

He just stares at me, a quizzical knot in his brow. He eventually relents, though. "The night I reopened Babylon, I danced with Michael. I haven't been back since."

"Why not?"

"Uh uh uh...I talk; you blow." I happily oblige. The moment he climaxes, his heart monitor spikes, and seconds later, the nurses run in. I'm banned from visiting him again.


End file.
